I awokeFifteen months afterI could feel an echo of herA longing to reconnectThe missing-you part of grief“I should call her” Fully awakeI knew there could beNo phone callShe was long goneBuried for five seasons A series of unusually pleasant dreamsGifted me with respiteEnded in wakingTo continue my grief.
Mother Wounds
Dear Mother,I consider myself an expertIn dead mothers.I have twenty-two years of experienceTending to my mother wounds,Hoping to heal themBefore they wound my children.At this point,I’m not sure you make myTop five listof dead people I’d like to have over for dinnerBut maybe if it were possibleWe could go for coffee instead.Unlike those on my…
A blessing for the summer
Packed with expectationTime feels unlimitedAs though it was not just 12 weeksBut an infinite number of days and hoursWhere I will catch up on every good thingHave unquantifiable amounts of funEnjoy my leisure to the fullest InsteadMy anxiety takes up residenceForces me to sit withUnanswerable questionsUntil I am overwhelmedWith imposter syndromeWhich I medicate with ice…
Burnout
I am unlearningA practice of productivityAchievementThat does not relyOn me breaking myself openLetting all of my vital partsHang outOnly to be leftWith the painful processOf gathering my organs back upAnd stitching myself back togetherHealing slowlyRepeating the breakingJust after healing I am paying closer attentionTo those pre-break momentsWhen I hear somethingRipOr snap internallyOr feel my innards…
Balancing Act
Today I will do my bestTo acknowledge my hurtsWhile gradingTo keep an eye on my unruly griefWhile my children tell me about their daysI will walk through the tunnel of me feelingsWhile walking the dogs,Dragging both my screaming inner selfAnd my stubborn dogOnward. I wrote this poem two years ago today, at the beginning of…
Prayer for Liberation
God of Liberation,In this moment of global pandemicIn this moment of fear and unrestHelp us to locate our spiritual imaginationsIn the middle of the discomfort of all we are experiencing.Help us to put our spiritual imaginations to workIn service of undoing our racismIn caring for the poor and the sickIn turning away from the false…
Prayer for Racial Justice Sunday
God of Peace and Justice,We have lost our way, though this is not new.For too long, we have held to an image of you that we have used to harm and exclude others based on their race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, and ability.Help us to set aside these false ideas and instead grow our…
A blessing for when the word ends and still goes on
We are years into this messAnd cannot see the end of itThough we fear it is a long way off.It seemed like the world ended and it still goes on.We have remained home as best we couldWe stopped our regular tripsTo workTo the bookstoreTo the coffee shopTo friendsTo churchTo familyOur social skills have deterioratedWe are…
Fall Semester Finals Week
It is the middle of exam weekAbundant patienceHas worn down toSardonic exhaustionI’ve not fully burned outBut the house has caught fireAnd the neighbors can see smokeEscaping from under the front door The useful parts of me are depletedLeaving only the gluttonous chocolate eaterWith a reduced social filterAnticipating a too-short season for renewal.
My Holy Women
My Holy WomenHail from unforgiving wildernessesSpeaking the words of God’s peaceThrough turbulent and violent times. Only, those wordsDiscomfort and encroachUpending the truths we feelDrawing us into the badlands. My Holy WomenAre intimate with GodHaving wrestled with Her,Knowing all Her tricky moves. My Holy WomenPerceive the wildness of God,Ripping and tearingAt our expectations. My Holy WomenAre…
The Contemplative Heretic 