I am unlearning
A practice of productivity
Achievement
That does not rely
On me breaking myself open
Letting all of my vital parts
Hang out
Only to be left
With the painful process
Of gathering my organs back up
And stitching myself back together
Healing slowly
Repeating the breaking
Just after healing

I am paying closer attention
To those pre-break moments
When I hear something
Rip
Or snap internally
Or feel my innards straining
To function.