I was looking for an Easter prayer to fit my mood and could not find one, so I wrote this.

Dear God,
The cost of Lent was too high this year
We wandered in a wilderness we were not prepared for
Lost people we were not prepared to lose
Experienced new kinds of grief
And we are not yet out of the wilderness, God.

Easter is here and we are still here in the thick of it.
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
We feel like we were promised some kind of resurrection.
We are all Mary stuck at the empty tomb.
We have come to mourn our executed friend,
Filled with loss and love and sadness and fear,
Confused at what is happening now.
If there is a resurrection going on somewhere, God
We do not see it is happening here.

Why is this damn tomb empty?
What happens next?
What does this all mean?

God, help us to sit in the not knowing
Be with us in our fear and grief
Help us to resist easy answers to difficult questions
To trust that there is a next
To find strength to make the next better than the now
Amen.